"Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others." — Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) Step Nine
Note: In this blog post, we reference Step Nine as outlined in the Big Book of AA interchangeably with Step Nine as outlined in the Narcotics Anonymous (NA) Basic Text.
Let’s first examine the meaning of Step Nine by breaking it into two parts:
Made direct amends to such people wherever possible…
Making amends does not mean simply saying “I’m sorry.” Instead, it means to take ownership of previous wrongdoing and demonstrate our commitment (through action) to changed behavior. A direct amends, therefore, refers to personally addressing harm we’ve caused “directly” with the individual. For example, if you damaged another person’s property, you might repair the damages yourself or pay the person to have the damages repaired by a professional.
Except when to do so would injure them or others.
This part of Step Nine refers to an “indirect” amends, which would be appropriate if the individual who has been harmed is unwilling or unable to see/communicate with you or if the individual was previously unaware of your wrongdoing. If this is the case, making a direct amends (therefore, revealing the wrongdoing) might cause more harm than good. For example, if you stole money from your employer but making a direct amends would cause you to lose your job and become unable to provide for your family’s basic needs, you might instead volunteer for an organization that helps the community or donate money to someone else in need.
In addition to direct and indirect amends, “living amends” are another way of demonstrating a commitment to living a recovery lifestyle. This means consistently demonstrating honesty, integrity and humility.
Tips for “Working” Step Nine
Maintain motivation by remembering the 9th Step Promises (AA Big Book pages 83-84):
- We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
- We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
- We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
- No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
- That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
- We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
- Self-seeking will slip away.
- Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
- Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
- We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
- We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Seek your sponsor’s counsel: Your sponsor has already been through Step 9 and can offer his or her experience and wisdom in determining who should be on the “immediate,” “delayed” or “never” amends list as well as how to approach each unique situation.
Lean on your sober support system: Surround yourself with people who work a solid program and consistently demonstrate their commitment to sobriety.
Though Step Nine is arguably one of the most anxiety-provoking of the 12 steps, working it doesn’t have to be a dreaded task. With courage, prudence and good judgment (all of which you’ve been cultivating in the previous steps), you’re more prepared to work Step Nine than you realize!
For further reading on Step Nine, check out the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions (pages 83-87) and the NA Basic Text (pages 37-39).
If you’re in need of addiction treatment, First Step Recovery can help! Contact us today at 330.369.8022!
